Newcastle United 6 (yes, six) Spurs 1 (a total embarrassment).

Newcastle United 6 (yes, six) Spurs 1 (a total embarrassment).

I've been going to Spurs since the late 50s (granted, blurry memories as I was only a toddler). In that time, I've witnessed some higher-scoring defeats… but this goal fest seemed different… for a start, it was the second-quickest capitulation (only City putting six past Watford was done in a speedier time, by two minutes, I think). But that was against a struggling Watford, not a top-six team with ambitions of glory and trophies.

The team I witnessed out there (my team) just didn't want to engage, and if it wasn't for Newcastle taking their foot off the throttle in the second half, it could have been a lot worse. Total shite!

The first goal went in after 2 minutes of play… Four minutes later, Joelinton scored… WHAT! But it wasn't over yet… the embarrassment continued…  Three minutes after Joe Linton's goal, Murphy scored again… but fear not, it wasn't over for Newcastle as they continued to humiliate us in front of us visiting away fans… and the world… Isak got the next one in the 19^th Minute and followed through two minutes later with the fifth Newcastle goal. While all this was happening, I phoned Janette to say we'd just conceded (the TV she was watching was 2 minutes behind). She kept saying, "Are you having me on?" before I had time to put the phone down, I was quickly back on the blower and repeated… and repeated my shock. By this time, disgruntled Spurs fans were leaving or singing "We are shit" or "Levy/ ENIC out". It was a total fiasco.

Seats around me were emptying… and we hadn't even reached the second half of the game yet… I phoned Mel to say that the seats next to me was available and to come down and enjoy the misery with me. He did…

Mel sang to the amusement of the remaining fans – at half-time – "We are going to win 6-5."

The game…

Newcastle United humiliated us with five goals in 21 stunning first-half minutes as they ran out easy winners in what was billed as a showdown for a top-four spot.

Jacob Murphy and Alexander Isak scored twice. Joelinton added another as the Magpies cut through our  leaky defence, already under the attention from last week's pathetic defeat against Bournemouth.

Second half…

Harry Kane pulled one back in the second half, but Callum Wilson (who came on as a sub) added a sixth to complete the misery.

This excruciating defeat is a momentous blow to our deteriorating hopes of securing Champions League qualification for next season.

Thoughts…

Their Joelinton drove inside from the edge of the box, and his low shot was weakly pushed away by the Hapless Hugo Lloris but into the path of Murphy, who was there to smash in the loose ball. Five minutes later, Joelinton sprung a muddled Spurs offside trap and rounded Lloris to double the lead.

Their fans were in raptures… but while still celebrating, Murphy rattled in the third that Lloris did not make any attempt to reach. When the second half came about, Lloris was substituted…

Isak then scored twice to make us fans even more miserable.

Our reply to our embarrassment…

Kane charged past Fabian Schar and finished neatly to pull one back minutes into the second half. Still, Newcastle responded when Wilson, who had replaced Isak, immediately shot home another from fellow substitute Miguel Almiron's pass.

After the game, Howe wouldn't be drawn on whether his side will reach the top four by the end of May. Whether they will or won't… we certainly won't be in the top four… and may not even make the top eight with Brighton, Villa and Liverpool on our heels.

"It's not for me to say," Howe said. "I saw a very good team playing today, two actually [Really!!!!!!!]. But there's a lot of games to go and a lot of points to play for."

As I said earlier, Manchester City have scored five goals in the league in less time, doing so in 18 minutes against Watford in 2019.

There were no pattern of play and nothing in the way of leadership from the pitch or the sidelines. Fans and critics have been asking why was Cristian Stellini appointed only for him to continue Conte's failed style of play.

Kane was the only player to offer a semblance of inspiration, but he largely cut a frustrated figure and must surely be pondering his future before a summer of big changes at our club.

Stellini was left puzzled by the performance, admitting his sides were unprepared for what they were faced with... They were unprepared… what about all of us travelling fans and those who watched the game in their own homes… Any recompense for us travelling fans? It took us 5 hours from leaving my house at 6 am in the morning to get to watch this lack of ambition from our players.

Stellini went on and said, "It went so badly because we were not prepared enough to play an important match." They are fucking professional players… earning millions… and playing for a top club (allegedly). They should be prepared…

Yes, Stellini must take responsibility… but so must Levy, Lewis and the Board…

"I have to take responsibility because once we changed system we played better, scored and showed fight. It's very difficult to understand why the first 25 minutes were so bad."

It is interesting to quote some of Jermaine Jenas' article…

"Everyone at Tottenham will talk about fighting and pulling together after Sunday's embarrassing defeat at Newcastle, but I feel like it's too far down the road for that now.

The team's momentum has completely gone, and the players clearly have no belief.

They played without any kind of a plan at St James' Park, but that was hardly a surprise after what we've already seen from them this season.

They are in a complete mess, but for me that stems from what is happening at the club off the pitch, and the total lack of direction that comes from the very top.

But it is not a coincidence that Tottenham are playing this badly at the same time that everything else at the club, from the top down, is a complete and utter shambles.

This kind of mess is nothing new at Spurs - you can take it back as far as you like.

I can't think of another club that would sack their manager the week before a cup final, like they did with Jose Mourinho ahead of the Carabao Cup final in 2021, but Tottenham did.

This time, they got rid of Antonio Conte with 10 Premier League games to go. Conte played his own part in that decision with his behaviour, of course, but how can you make a change at that stage of the season without having a new manager to come in?

At least bring in someone who will give you fresh ideas, a new look, some energy - anything that might provide a bounce to secure a Champions League spot, at a time when the club were actually in the top four.

Instead, Spurs appointed Cristian Stellini, Conte's number two."

But the paragraph that resonates with me the most… "They are in a complete mess, but for me that stems from what is happening at the club off the pitch, and the total lack of direction that comes from the very top." From the very top, "Levy and Lewis". A total shambles…

Enough said…

Have we got more humiliation to look forward to? United and Liverpool are our next two opponents.

COYS!