The silly season: our transfer news, rumours and balderdash

 

The silly season: our transfer news, rumours and balderdash

One of the things I hate about the transfer window is the endless speculations, guesses and fans jumping on every rumour without knowing what is precisely happening behind the scenes. So, unless I hear something factual, I ignore it… but… I am bored at the moment… leg in plaster, can't go out (or without difficulty), no football to occupy my fingers running across the keyboard, so I thought I would have a gander. I would do what I've been criticising others about for your pleasure… and why not!!!! We all might get a laugh together!!!

So let us start with the Middlesbrough player Djed Spence. According to a friend of mine who works within the walls of the Tottenham building, both clubs are understood to have met but were unable to find an agreement. Move over Fabio Paratici and bring in Daniel Levy to take charge of negotiations… so that buggers our chances up of getting the player. But according to reports – inside talk – we still remain very interested in Spence and, according to him (the player) talking to friends, he wants the move (to Spurs), but the Levy is prepared not to move on if no deal can be struck to his advantage (same old story). We do have other options, including a couple of European players such as Jonathan Clauss and Wilfried Singo, if he doesn't come. The whole Levy game is to pretend, "oh, ok, we are not interested, and we'll go somewhere else"; the player then probably gets onto his chairman to put pressure on… or he never was in the running in the first place, and it is all a game of chess for the amusement of fans and papers alike.

Levy probably thinks it is his money/ party, so quoting from the song "It's My Party",

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to

Cry if I want to

Cry if I want to

You would cry too, if it happened to you

That sounds like Levy.

Anyway, moving on from Levy and back to who Levy actually employed to do the job, Paratici…

We are also escalating our enquiries over forward options, including Everton's Richarlison and Leeds' Raphinha; both clubs are bracing themselves for bids. I do know that Conte admires Raphinha… or is that another subterfuge to trick all parties and focus elsewhere…? I also believe that PSV's Cody Gakpo is another player we have asked after.

Not only are we interested in Raphinha, but his Leeds team-mate Jack Harrison, and then there is Roma's Nicolo Zaniolo. The press are loving this!

I also believe that Paratici also met with Sampdoria to discuss the possible loan of Bryan Gil and with Roma to potentially loan centre-back Joe Rodon to Jose Mourinho's side. I see Rodon going. In the case of Gil, he is a talented player, but – according to Conte – he needs fattening up and probably still has a long way to go… but capable, nevertheless. He will probably stay out on loan.

Ajax will make another offer for winger Steven Bergwijn, but if he goes, we'll want the cash for other players… he is still a good player and shouldn't go below £25/30 million.

Steven Bergwijn became our super-sub, and he got that reputation when he came on to score twice in stoppage time to beat Leicester 3-2. I remember that game well… we all thought it was over until he came on and changed everything. What a great day that was. It reminded me of the Ajax game (that got us into the European Champions final against Liverpool…) both had a lot at stake, Ajax being more prestigious, but the Leicester game (yes, it could have been any game)got us a top-four place.

Anyhow, Ajax, who have wanted Bergwijn since January, and are now set to step up their interest in the 24-year-old after they agreed to sell one of their strikers to Borussia Dortmund for £30.2m. So, they've got the money… give us the cash, Ajax, and you can have your player.

You can't blame Bergwijn for wanting first-team football ahead of this winter's (winter? it will be like a furnace over there!) World Cup in Qatar and therefore is keen to sign for Ajax. But not at any price; he is still our player until he has been purchased.

It seems we, the Woolwich constipationers and former Russian compatriots Chelski (now under American control), are in a three-way battle for Richarlison, Raphinha and Gabriel Jesus.

But I am also hearing that Gabriel Jesus (the man who can turn water into wine; allegedly!) seems that he might go to Woolwich as their manager has worked with him at City…

The Woolwich Jokers have had an offer rejected by Leeds for Raphinha... so we told Leeds we plan to bid, and American-Cheski co-owner Todd Boehly, the interim sporting director, has explored the situation as well.

Then there is Yannick Carrasco, who has come out of the woodwork, with Manchester United, Chelski and us interested in getting him (according to paper reports).

Then there is our old mate, Christian Eriksen, however, we now appear not interested in him, so Manchester United seem to be favourites to have his signature. The only problem there is that he doesn't want to leave London. So, he might stay at Brentford; after all, what has United got to offer him other than second tear European football?

Newcastle's Allan Saint-Maximin is of interest because the Magpies refuse to give the Frenchman a greater wage, leaving us and Chelski hovering.

Then there is Alessandro; we are in talks with Inter Milan. Chelski are also loitering thereabouts.

Lautaro Martinez; Conte is eyeing a reunion with Lautaro Martinez, however, the asking price could be a bit too high as Inter Milan want £77m.

Piero Hincapie; if we are prepared to pay  £34m, we could land Bayer Leverkusen defender.

As for speculation over Gareth Bale, even though there are many reports that we will go for him, I can't see it. He is injury-prone, and his wage demand will be high. Wherever he goes, there won't be a shortage of clubs for him. But I also now hear that he will sign for an America club for a large sum.

Now, this is a strange one: Marcus Rashford, the United player. There has been a lot of speculation about him coming to us… But his form has dropped since he stuck his long neck over the parapet and looked for greater fame serving dinners to children. I think he would be better now sticking to serving free school meals to kids (more his age group) that can only dream of becoming what he became (mmmm… I'll have to think about the wording of that one!).

Paulo Dybala has demanded a weekly wage of £280,000 to join on a free transfer when his contract expires this summer, so he won't be coming.

Torino director Davide Vagnati is preparing to come over to London this week to discuss a deal with us for defender Gleison Bremer. We might go for him if we cannot secure a deal for Inter Milan's Alessandro Bastoni.

Other speculations: Filip Kostic, Nordi Mukiele, Malcolm Ebiowei, Sven Botman, Sonny Perkins, and the list goes on.

What about players leaving us?

There are reports that Real Madrid want Son, but that won't happen. Everton wants Winks, And I've discussed Steven Bergwijn.

Jack Clarke might leave as he hasn't been as successful (in other words, a bit of a letdown).

Harry Kane – Will probably sign a new contract.

Confirmed Tottenham signings so far.

Ivan Perisic - Inter Milan, free

Fraser Forster - Southampton, free

Yves Bissouma - Brighton, £35m: As I reported earlier in one of my blogs, Brighton midfielder Yves Bissouma signed a four-year deal for us.

I have also been told that we will pay an initial £25m for the Mali international, potentially increasing to £35m with performance-related add-ons. We got him on the cheap because the 25-year-old only had one year left on his Brighton contract, so he became our third summer signing after goalkeeper Fraser Forster and Ivan Perisic.

Confirmed Tottenham departures

Cameron Carter-Vickers - Celtic, undisclosed

I do not doubt that many more names will be thrown into the ring before the transfer window closes, with every Tom, Dick or Richards being named. With Dick being a firm favourite. Cockerels and dicks go together… or it did the last twenty years or so of Levy's reign.

What I do know is that Fabio Paratici likes nothing more than picking six or nine players and applying for them in the hope that one of them does eventually join the club he is working for. But it won't be just one player Conte wants, rather five or six in various positions. Only then can we seriously think of challenging for honours.

I am confident that we will get our men, after years of frustration, I think (hope) that Levy has come to his senses and finally realise that if you don't employ a good manager and splash the cash, we will fall far behind; only good enough to compete with the likes of the Bubble blowers, Wanker-Woolwich-Nomads, the poor half of Manchester, United, Brendan "Roy" Rogers and his faithful Trigger-Leicester Titty and the rest of the league that occupy positions in no man's land (below 4^th spot… hopefuls and vagrants that float about the league as fodder for the bigger teams).

I've suggested to a friend of mine (Mel) that we should put another bet on this year, something like; finishing in the top three with a trophy or two. Last season we placed a bet on finishing in the top four and got £225 each. Granted, we put on a bet the year before that we would win the league… Guess what happened there!!!!

So, there you have it all… we might get some of those players… we might not; no doubt, new names will appear, and the speculation game continues until the transfer window closes in September. It has all been good fun… now back to my painful leg and the throbbing! At least I have a good woman looking after me, easing everything and putting smiles on my face… trust me, you can't beat it!!!!

All the best, Glenn

COYS!