Don’t worry if Levy hasn’t got a manager in place yet…!

 

Don’t worry if Levy hasn’t got a manager in place yet…!

[This article contains some seriousness, a bit of humour (OK, a lot), and all wrapped up in a conundrum]

Don’t worry if Levy hasn’t got a manager in place by the time the season starts; they have their own kindergarten section and they have just the recruiter to manage the team temporarily.

Yes, The Daily Express have disclosed that Ryan Mason has been put on standby to take charge of pre-season and may even be called on to take control at the beginning of the season while the club continue to search for Jose Mourinho’s replacement.

Mason was handed the head coach job until the end of last season, and Levy thought he did such a brilliant job (getting us into Europe) that he earmarked him for essential assignments. Such as retaking charge, if need be. He became the youngest ever manager to take control of a Premier League game (usually reserved for adults). And don’t forget he is cheap. Instead of paying him in “Loadsamoney,” he can give the youngster sweets to satisfy him.

Levy has held talks with a multitude of candidates over the past couple of months but are yet to confirm Mourinho’s successor. There is even talk that Levy might look towards the female contingent to take charge. Not only would it be the first, but it would draw great interest from around the world and create maximum publicity. The other option Levy is thinking about is putting himself in charge, with, of course, a flattery pay inducement (he isn’t stupid!). But on a serious note, Levy continues to look for a manager, but not just any manager, a manager that can build a team on the cheap, gets paid little and is easily manageable. Do you fit that category? If so, then please write to Tottenham Hotspur Football Club Lilywhite House 782 High Road London N17 0BX. Address it to Sir Daniel Levy (the “sir” bit could go in your favour) or the joker in the pack Fabio Paratici. All CV’s will be taken seriously before they all have a group huge and laugh!

Anyway, away from the Twilight Zone, The Express have now explained that, should the club not have a head coach in place by the time the players report for pre-season on July 5, Mason will take charge. And if that happened, then once again, he will be accompanied by Chris Powell, Nigel Gibbs, Michel Vorm and Ledley King in putting the squad through their paces if an appointment is not confirmed in the next ten days.

I also believe – hearing it through the grapevine – that a new comedy is set to appear on our TV screens very soon. It will have a cast of fools and starring Daniel Levy, Fabio Paratici, and, if possible, Mother Teresa (even though she died in 97, Levy has special contacts from above), plus a whole host of other clowns. There will also be a soundtrack issued with the TV series. The Performer will be none other than Napoleon XIV… and the song…

They´re coming to take me away,

Haha, they´re coming to take me away,

Ho ho, hee hee, haha,

To the funny farm

Where life is beautiful all the time

And I´ll be happy to see

Those nice young men

In their clean white coats

And they´re coming to take me AWAY,

I can just imagine Levy singing that song in his shower. As for us fans, Monty Python hit the right note when they sang, “Always look on the Bright side of life”.

If you have no sense of humour, then please address your concerns to our new Director of Football (as a Monty Python sketch once said, “A nod is as good as a wink to a blind man”).

All the best, and stay safe, Glenn

COYS!