Spurs versus Chelski, the Rivalry

Spurs versus Chelski, the Rivalry

After my article's success on Arsenal and us, I have decided to do another one on our feud with Chelsea. Tongue in cheek or hitting the nail on the head?

[My previous article, for those who missed it, was on our rivalry with the Gooners and how Arsenal (Death) got its name. To read that article, click on the link "HERE"]

By Don Scully

But let us start with how Chelski (“Rent Boys or the “Battysmashers”) came into existence. Of course, back in those days, they hadn’t been tainted with a Russian connection, just contaminated, period.

Chelski’s beginnings

In 1904 one Gus Mears (the Mercat) acquired the Stamford Bridge athletics stadium intending to turn it into a football ground. Now, most football supporters start off with the idea of creating a football team first (that is how Spurs came into existence) and then one tries to find a ground to play on and then go on from there. But not Mercat-Mears… oh, no… his thoughts were money-orientated; with land, I can exploit, was his thinking. Anyway, previously, Fulham had a chance to use that Stadium but turned it down. The Mercat founded his own club to use for the Stadium. But a business mind is a business mind, but what to call it? They couldn’t call it “Chelski” because there were no Russian comfortable-bed-fellows in those days. “Rent Boys” was probably one idea, but that was a secret vocation, as nowadays. Mr Mercat-Mears thought of “Stamford Bridge F.C.,” but no. Then Kensington F.C. and even London FC, then he settled on the neighbouring boroughs name and went for Chelsea, tarnishing that Borough’s reputation until the end of time.  That was because there was already a team named Fulham in the Borough… if money is the objective then stealing from another borough is neither here nor there. So, it was Chelsea, settled. On the 10 March 1905, at the local Rising Sun pub (now a meat market; Butcher’s Hook), near and opposite the current Stadium, Fulham Road, was where it was all confirmed.

They were then quickly elected to the Football league (suspicious… but then Mercat-Mears was a businessman, after all… a bit of ducking and diving was his trade). Now they needed actual players, so the call went out; high and low (mostly low) and a motley group were formed. So that was how they wormed their way into being a football team and then finally into the Football League; arse-about-face; but they started as they meant to go on.

The rivalry

The Chelski F.C. (or Battysmashers) & Tottenham Hotspur F.C. rivalry is a rivalry between two London-teams. The Battysmashers play their home games at the wreck they call Stamford Bridge stadium, while we play our home games at the magnificent Tottenham Hotspur state of the art-Premium Stadium. No bias here, just an observational fact.

Background of our rivalry

Now, we may not consider ourselves rivalries in the sense Death (arsenal), and ourselves are, but there has been strong antipathy between the two clubs for donkey’s years. Some fans date this going back to the F.A. Cup final in 1967 where we put them right. Games between the two teams would often attract large attendances. Still, because of the knuckle-headed-Rent-Boys vehement Neanderthal bare-knuckle feelings, violent clashes between the two sets of supporters have often transpired over the years.

A 2012 survey has shown that the Neanderthals of Chelski (Battysmashers) consider Tottenham to be their main rival, above Arsenal and Manchester United. The same study indicates that Tottenham fans still consider the Battysmashers their second rival, below Arsenal. I understand the logic of this, Chelski doesn’t have anybody near them where they can show their antipathy towards; Fulham is a polite, good-natured club, and certainly not in the elite area of Premium football as ourselves… but then again neither would the Battysmashers be if it wasn’t for Russian involvement/ money. And we mustn’t forget that the reason we rate Death (arsewipes) as our number-one rivals is that they encroached upon our territory (squatted), Battysmashers didn’t; as Simple as that… but, they are Digo-deviance’s nevertheless!

History

The first league meeting between the two teams took place on 18 December 1909 (112 years ago) at Stamford Bridge, as we only joined the Football League in 1908 and won promotion to the Football League First Division in 1909.  However, both teams struggled in the 1909–10 season, and we met again at White Hart Lane on 30 April 1910 in the final match of the season, with both fighting for survival in Division One. Spurs beat the Rent Boys of Chelski 2–1, sending the future Mother-Russians down, with the winning goal scored by former Chelski player Percy Humphreys. If you ever want a Percy, you know where to look.

As I had said, the actual antagonistic-rivalry dates back to the 1967 F.A. Cup Final, which was the competition's first final to be contested between two teams from the Capital. It is thus often dubbed the "Cockney Cup Final". We won the game 2–1 with over 100,000 people in attendance. Even though some regard that as the beginning, other incidents along the way ignited the hostility to a nuclear level. An excellent example of this was during the 1974–75 season, one in which they and we fought out a bitter bloody-battle against relegation from the First Division. Before the match, we were in the relegation zone, and the Battysmashers were one point ahead of us. The game's tension was bloodthirsty, which led to fans invading and fighting on the pitch before the game started. Blood was flying here, there and everywhere. The match had to be held up for several minutes while Tottenham supporters could be treated and the Ruskey trouble makers thrown out. After a delayed start, we smashed the blue-Russkies 2–0. The Battysmashers failed to win either of their remaining two games. They were ultimately relegated (hurray, and that will teach them to mess with the best) from the First Division, with us staying up via a solitary-single goal. They were seething with spitefulness and hatred. Snot dripping from their noses… Impotence was the order of the day at SW6. Knuckles were dragged on the ground more than usual.

In 2003 Roman Abramovich, the Russian multi-billionaire took over the club and gave the soon to be named Chelski an unfair advantage by spending out £1.25bn in loans on the club since his transformational takeover. Nowadays, you rarely see him at his Russian-property as he is easily bored and has found other things to attract his attention.

On 5 November 2006, we beat the Russkies 2–1

On 12 March 2007, the Battysmashers clashed with the Lily-white Cockerels in London's streets, where 10 fans were knifed.

 In the 2008 Football League Cup Final, with Tottenham winning the trophy after a 2–1 victory.

Again more clashes occurred on 1 March 2015 when Rent boys fans clashed with our fans on the Underground.

On 2 May 2016, the Russkies and the Cockerels met at Stamford Bridge in an ill-tempered match that some would later call the 'Battle of Stamford Bridge'. The first two goals were scored by Harry Kane and Son. In the second half, Gary Cahill and Eden Hazard scored the two goals for Chelski. It ended as a 2–2 draw which automatically gave Leicester City their first-ever Premier League title. This match re-ignited the rivalry between the two clubs as players attacked each other on the pitch, resulting in nine yellow cards for us (a Premier League record for any team), another three for the Russkies (I smelt favouritism in the air). As a result, both clubs had to face three F.A. charges, and they were fined for failing to control their players.

On 4 January 2017, we beat the Battysmashers 2–0 at White Hart Lane, ending the Blues of Russia record 13 games winning streak in the Premier League.

On 1 April 2018, we won on Roman Abramovich ground  3–1, with Dele Alli and Christian Eriksen's scoring.

On 22 December 2019, the Russkies played their first match at our new Stadium. The game received comprehensive media coverage due to alleged racist behaviour by Tottenham fans, aimed at a Chelski defender Antonio Rüdiger. But no abuse was found by the Police. However, a Battysmasher supporter was arrested for racist abuse against one of our players (Son).

The example above is an excellent example of some of the false accusations made against us (unfairly) when we’ve played Roman Abramovich’s girls. So, there you have it. How the rivalry came about with Abramovich’s miscreants. But that hasn’t stopped the Battysmashers using derogatory names (Jewish orientated abuse) against the purity of our being.

Nowadays the Battysmashers or Abramovich’s girls have settled down to mediocrity and Frank Lampard (now sacked… it is hard to keep up at Chelski who is their current manager as it seems to change every few minutes, but then again, that is what you get with Abramovich’s involvement). While we are in the ascendancy with Jose Mourinho and a state of the art premium stadium. We are the future, while Chelski were just an irritant until Roman Abramovich tickled their balls to stimulate success. 

So, there you have it; our rivalry with the Battysmashers and how they came into existence. And don’t let anybody tell you any differently. As they say, a nod is as good as a wink to a blind Battysmasher. May Beelzebub have mercy on their lost souls as He roasts them all on an open hot spit. What barbeques they must have in Hell!

Highest attendances against  Roman Abramovich’s boys (before & after he arrived)

100,000, Tottenham 2–1 Chelsea, 20 May 1967, F.A. Cup, Wembley

87,660, Chelsea 1–2 Tottenham, 24 February 2008, Football League Cup, Wembley

76,000, Chelsea 0–4 Tottenham, 16 October 1920, First Division, Stamford Bridge

66,398, Tottenham 4–0 Chelsea, 26 January 1957, F.A. Cup, White Hart Lane

By Don Scully