Christian Eriksen is not needed at Inter Milan, but who is mug enough to take him back?

 

Christian Eriksen is not needed at Inter Milan, but who is mug enough to take him back?

By Don Scully

Ever since Eriksen got it in his head that he wanted to leave Spurs, because he thought the grass was greener on the other side, his performance dropped. He was close to being out of contract and cried for the dreams in his head. So he left for more money, but his performance didn't live up to expectations, and Inter Milan started to get frustrated and thought, let us cut our losses and throw him overboard. According to reports, Eriksen is now keen on returning to Tottenham Hotspur, just one year after leaving the club to move to Inter Milan. Since then there seems – at least in the press – a scramble to pick up the declining player. That is all scrambling from other clubs, apart from the club that gave him a leg up.

On social media, there is a mixed response to whether he should come back or not. My issue would be wages. He is on £300,000, or something like that per week. But when he was at Spurs, he was on about £75,000 a week. Eriksen was starting to become a turkey at Spurs; nevertheless, Inter Milan saw something in that Turkey (probably they wanted to fatten him up for Christmas, who knows what goes on in the minds of Italians). Once they got him, they increased his wages, and between club and player, dreamed the dreams of world domination, but instead, those dreams turned to mush, and the Italians thought; he came, he saw, now he can fuck off.

The Dane enjoyed six-and-a-half years at White Hart Lane before leaving for the Serie A giants last January with just six months of his contract to run. But he failed to settle (he wasn't what they expected) at the San Siro and Antonio Conte is already looking to cash in on his £25million playmaker, with the Premier League his most likely destination.

Now, according to journalist Fabrizio Romano, and we know how reliable journalists are, Eriksen wants to return to tickle a few testicles in the  Premier League - preferably at Spurs - although he admits his Inter wages could prove a stumbling block! YOU THINK! What have the Romans ever… sorry - a bit of Monty Python there – what has Eriksen ever done for us, well, in the last year of his decline, not much. We were even mugs enough to offer him more money. But, no, he wanted even more than what we offered. Now he hopes that Spurs are still mugs enough to pay him more and still want him back, even though he had cheated us out of a hefty transfer fee. With the new stadium and one of the world's top managers in Mourinho, we should be thinking forward, not looking backwards to declining players (I know what you are going to say, what about Bale? Eriksen isn't in the same league as he is). And I certainly wouldn't pay him £300,000 smackers, that is more than what Kane and Son are getting. Let him go to Death (arsenal), where they are looking to shore up their team so that they hopefully, can challenge for the Championship play-off stages next season.

However, and if it was me, I'd say, yes you can come back on a wage of £10,000 per week and if you could start showing your old self (the qualities you once had), then we might throw in a few more pennies… but don't forget that he is an ageing player (young compared to me, but old compared to the life expectancy of football players). Now, I think I am being generous here, others might say I am taking the piss… while the Death club (arsenal) might be licking their lips. But if we didn’t have different opinions we would be living in The Donald’s (Trump) mind… just an empty barrel with shit in it. So, what are your thoughts?

While you are pondering that, there are also other issues about him returning to the land of plenty. As well as his wages, we (that is Spurs, not me and them… I am paying fuck all) could also be put off by a loan fee being demanded by Inter following the discussions thrashed out after his original transfer a year ago.

The journalist Romano added that if Spurs baulk at the fee being demanded, other Premier League clubs are keeping an eye open on the declining Inter Milan player. Good for them!

So, there you have it, to purchase or not to purchase, that is the question. Personally, I would look forward and buy Messi and not go backwards (joking… that is about Messi).

But what do you think? Do you think my prognosis is all there or am I talking bollocks and that whatever his declining status is, he is worth another punt? That is bunt (no "C," just a "P," I don’t mind if I do). That reminds me of the Monty Python joke. Now for something completely different:

Tourist: Yes I'm sorry I can't say the letter 'B'

Bounder: C?

Tourist: Yes that's right. It's all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a schoolboy. I was attacked by a bat

Bounder: A cat?

Tourist: No a bat

Bounder: Can you say the letter 'K'

Tourist: Oh yes, Khaki, king, kettle, Kuwait, Keble Bollege Oxford

Bounder: Why don't you say the letter 'K' instead of the letter 'C'

Tourist: what you mean.....spell bolour with a K

Bounder: Yes

Tourist: Kolour. Oh that's very good, I never thought of that… what a silly bunt

------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: Well, that was completely different, wasn’t it?

Supporter: what the fuck has that got to do with Spurs?

Me: Well, I said, that was something completely different, and different it was.

Supporter: fuck off…

Me: ok… sorry! [sulking away into obscurity]

Until next time, that is, if there is a next time, Don