Our Government, in their wisdom, have decided how many lucky bleeders will be allowed into the stadium.

Our Government, in their wisdom, have decided how many lucky bleeders will be allowed into the stadium.

Be warned; this article comes to you tongue-in-cheek and isn't a prophecy (hopefully).

Last season we- not I, but the team – played behind closed doors. This created an eerie, haunting atmosphere. But it had to be done if we didn't want half our fans to die from a virus that was rampaging through the world, and especially attacking vulnerable, weak and the old, but not just that category, as it was indiscriminate. Even the young and fit were included in its attacks.

So, instead of fans, we had soundboards of popular football video games, and also those that were allowed in were forced to create their own mood and excitement.

Now that season has gone past us, and we approach another one. For the first couple of weeks, the atmosphere should be as we left it the previous season. Then, slowly and eventually the creeping footsteps should be heard walking through the vipers-virus-contaminated-area to the stadium, through the doors and into a virus-free social distanced stadium with hand gel for everyone to smoother themselves in. Unfortunately, by the time you've got to that vacuum-sealed environment, you probably have already caught the virus when travelling from your home to the train destination then on to the safety of the stadium. And as those chosen ones slowly sink down in their seats as the virus gradually encroaches upon them/us and decides whether we live or die the game unfolds before the 18,000 delighted unsuspecting odd capacity. But let us not worry about minor details. We are in the stadium, rejoice… rejoice my friends. If we should die we die in bliss.

In other words; as lockdown continues in the UK, it looks as if the effects of COVID-19 are set to roll into the 2020/21 season.

Despite this, the Government has provided an update on how many Spurs fans may be allowed back inside the stadium in the future.

Now, according to that wise old bird, and institution of the presses (i.e. the Telegraph Newspaper), when the green light is given, it is said that the capacity allowed into our stadium will be 30%. Yes, you've heard it right.

Now, as you, the eagled eyed, know, our Tottenham Hotspur Stadium has an official capacity of 62,303, which means that 30% of the ground would come to around 18,690 people. By my calculation, 8,000 of that will go to Premium members and box holders and the rest to GA members. OK, joking, I haven't got a clue who will get what. But I have no doubt that the rich amongst the members will cry foul if they didn't get their golden seats, and if they did the GA's will equally cry foul, which all boils down to a headache for the powers that are (Daniel Levy & board).

Although this poultry number would be a small part of the typical number of the Tottenham Stadium, it certainly would be enough to produce an acceptable noise-level again. But what will be more interesting are those loyal supporters favoured over other loyal supporters. But then again it might be all academic, by the time the lucky ones have come and gone and probably caught the virus and the next virus victims are let in, eventually, the stadium could be just left with 18,690 members (as the others had caught the virus), the actual number the Government permits for our stadium. What brilliant calculation?

Remember that song?

#Some things in Life are bad

They can really make you mad

Other things just make you swear and curse

When you're chewing on Life's gristle

Don't grumble, give a whistle

And this'll help things turn out for the best…

 

Yes, "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" It then goes on a bit until it comes to this:

#I mean, what have you got to lose?

You know, you come from nothing

You're going back to nothing

What have you lost? Nothing

 

That's it, folks, just look at the bright side of Life and hope for the best. At the end of the day, we are nothing, just expendable experimentation for the greater good!

All done in the best possible taste!

Best Regards, and stay safe, Glenn