Spurs v Arsenal: the North London Derby (a potted history).

What can one say?

Spurs 0 (yes, nil) Newcastle 1 (exactly!)

What a crock of shit. Their club-record signing Joelinton got his first goal in English football and gave Newcastle United a surprise win, and it was a bloody surprise… or was it? With the way we’ve been performing of late, including the end of last season, should we really be surprised? We need to buck our ideas up. It also gave Steve Bruce his first Premier League points as their manager. Our record signing didn’t even get on the score sheet, in fact, he was out injured (which explains why he didn’t get on the score sheet). Our other new signing didn’t fare that much better.

The day started off so positive. After our game against Villa and City we thought it could only get better, and yes, it got worse. I left my house at 10 am and got to the ground at 12 noon. I have a friend who lives around the corner from the ground, and he allowed me to park on his drive, and for the rest of the season (hopefully, beyond).  Arriving early gave me time to pop into the Spurs shop. Bought a book, T-shirt, two mugs (they did Semi-Final mugs of our match against Ajax, so I had to have one or two of them, that also being such a brilliant day, result and experience-wise). I also purchased a Spurs ring and some other nicknacks. Then I went back to my car and read for a while, then it was time to get into the queue to enter the stadium (1.30pm). This match was the first match I’ve had my Access card since the stadium opened. Before that, I’ve been using downloadable tickets and the Spurs App, which has your ticket on it (they’ve had a few faulty Access passes, that is why I never had one until now).

Went up the escalator, got drinks and something to eat (I’ve got to watch myself as I am on a diet) and then chatted to the regular crowd (Terry, Steve, Colin, Beverly, Mel, Jeff and a few others who joined us).

I predicted we would win 4-1, others went for something like 3-1. We predicted well, didn’t we? It’s a gift, as I keep telling Hanna (and, no doubt, if Woolworths were still available on the high street you would take that gift back and demand your money back…! Alas, no more, and we are stuck with the gifts!)

We got to our seat, all were positive and good-humoured. Finally, the whistle went and we were off.

After 27 minutes and pressure from us, we all suddenly swallowed our words, and drinks (it went down the wrong hole). Their Brazilian striker took advantage of our sleepy defending to control substitute Christian Atsu's through pass beautifully before putting it past Hugo Lloris.

We lacked the creativity to break down a determined Newcastle team, whose four-man midfield spent a large portion of the game sitting deep in front of a back five.

Steve Bruce later said that their win 'will shut a few people up'. That may be the case for them (temporarily), but our fans protests will continue. At this rate, we will struggle to even challenge for a Europa league placing (for next season), let alone a Champions League placing. Granted we had 80% of the possession, but 80% of possession equalled nothing for us, while the opposition went home with the spoils. Next week we’ve got Arsenal… you really want to cry, don’t you!

Son Heung-min, making his first appearance of the season after completing a three-match suspension, saw a bouncing first-half volley beaten away by Martin Dubravka, then rolled a shot wide shortly before the interval.

The break came, but we were still positive. I made my way to the lounge where Beverley and I discussed the match and various things. We thought once Pochettino got his players cornered he would give them a talking to and they would come out fully revigorated, just as in the Villa game. After a couple of bottles of water, we then made our way back to our seats (I was on the third, Beverley was on the second tier, behind the dugout).

 We (as in the team) were revigorated, if you can call it that, but struggled to get the ball past Newcastle’s defence. We had two shots on target, to their three, and one of their three went in.

Pochettino sent on Christian Eriksen and Giovani lo Celso for the final half-hour in an attempt to salvage something from the 500th match of his managerial career, but it achieved bugger all.

Lo Celso's pass for Harry Kane ended with the England captain falling under Jamaal Lascelles' challenge - but Mike Dean ruled it was not a penalty and was backed up by the video assistant referee (VAR). Eriksen's superb diagonal pass gave Moussa Sissoko the room to cross low, but Lucas Moura skied his shot over the bar from around eight yards. The end result, Spurs 0 Newcastle – the dummies that were struggling to get even a point before this match – 1.

After the final whistle went, we just sat there as if seven bells of shite was knocked out of us, certainly knocked out of the team. Eventually, I made my way over to where Terry and Colin were sitting, but neither was in the mood for chatting. Mel joined us. Finally, we went into the lounge and talked about the match, nothing helped. We were depressed.

After an hour of chatting we made our way out of the stadium, Terry, Colin and Ian (who was waiting outside) went their way, Mel went his and I went to my car. I got home at 9.30 pm.

As I woke up I immediately switched on Match of the Day, that didn’t help. I was soo pissed that I couldn’t be bothered to go to the gym, so instead, I decided to depress myself even more – and probably others – by writing this article.

Onwards and upwards… and yes, upwards will be Arsenal, at their ground. It can’t get any better than that… or worse than that. Now, where is the vodka, a double shot of that might improve one's thoughts of the match… Somebody once said, "shit happens,” it certainly did when we faced Steve Bruce’s strugglers!

By Glenn Renshaw