Spurs nil Everton one: awful, bloody awful.

The first game of the season, I had high hopes, as I am sure you all did. What we got from the match was no effort, nothing. They did not look like they wanted to play, let alone win. I paid £10 for that game (NowTV), I should have saved my money. Gone down to the local shop and bought some Sherbert… no, sherbert!

Today started off at the gym, then cut the grass and tidied up the back garden. Got something to eat and waited for the moment (the moment when we were going to show the rest of the Premier league that we should be taken seriously… oh, we laughed!). Total shit! At this rate, we are going to struggle. Is it more players' we need? A better system? Whatever, Jose needs to sort it out quick-kick (in the bollocks preferably). It is no good getting rid of Pochettino and replacing him with more the same, or less.

Mourinho has now a couple of days before we play our Europa league game.

So, my review of the match (God help us?).

Dominic Calvert-Lewin's header ensured Everton made a winning start to the season. Hugo Lloris had no chance after connecting with Lucas Digne's in-swinging free-kick to earn the visitors a first win over us since 2012. Pickford produced two excellent saves to keep out Dele Alli and Matt Doherty, who made his debut after signing from Wolves. Their James Rodriguez had a good game and did deserve their win.

I rushed through my comments as I started to shake… I had a cutthroat razor in one hand, while the other was tinkering with the keyboard. What a combination in the hour of one's desperation!

As for us.

Mourinho was bloody furious with Everton's goal. He claimed the free-kick, which led to Calvert-Lewin's goal, was taken from the wrong place (not further forward, but further back… who gives a shit, just excuses… we lost, couldn't score… end of!). But over 90 minutes we were nonexistent. Kane only got two touches in Everton's penalty area. He looked tired.

Our most threatening player was Son, certainly in the first half when he had set up Kane and Alli. As for Kane, he didn't look like anything he did last season. Remember, he scored five goals in three games. Alli managed to force a save from Pickford, then was replaced at half time.

Before the game, he (that is Jose) said he wanted a new striker before the transfer window closes. Yes, but hopefully not just a striker. Going by today's game (Sunday) he needs a whole bloody team.

As for our new signing Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg, who also made his debut, he did not perform to what was expected of him.  To be fair, one or two players needed a good kicking in the nuts, maybe that might have jolted them into some sort of action.

What more can I say? I did not even have a glass of wine on that day… maybe that was my problem, if I did,  I might have seen it more differently… with high hopes for the rest of the season.

What's next for our jaded team?

Well, we (I say we, but us fans will be sitting at home staring at the TV screen), will travel to Bulgaria in midweek to face Lokomotiv Plovdiv in the second qualifying round of the Europa League on Thursday (17:00 BST), Glory or bust? Get it right, Jose, get it bloody right or a few heads will be busted, and it will not be just the players!

The statistics.

Only Chris Wood (14) and Harry Kane (12) have scored more headed goals in the Premier League since the beginning of the 2017-18 campaign than Everton's Dominic Calvert-Lewin (11).

Mourinho has been defeated on the opening matchday of a league campaign for the first time in his managerial career.

Everton have secured their first Premier League win in London in nine games.

So, that is the sorry news. Will a cold shower help, or should one get down on one's hands and knees and ask the great God in the sky (yes, that one… Bill Nicholson) what we should do? He probably would say, "shoot the bastards, that wasn't a team… if you want to see a team then look at the players I managed… now that was a team… and we won things!" Sounds about right!. God bless Bill Nicholson.

I am not going to bother you with who was the man of the match; it certainly was not one of our uninspiring players. Now, where is that gun?

Until next time, and hopefully, something better to report, take care and sleep tight… tight, not as in pissed… but then again pissed might be the answer!!!!

Best regard, Glenn

Oh, tomorrow I am off to my daughters to watch the final three episodes of "All or Nothing," and the way I am feeling, it probably will be.

 


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